Fandom: Stargate: SG-1
Spoilers: Complete Series
Thanks to: trelkez for the beta, and fenriss for her neverending support and encouragement.
Author note: A day early and a dollar...long? Sorry guys, I'm out of town tomorrow and must post today. Please note that all footnotes are placed at the end of the section they pertain to, for your reading convenience.
And on the eighth day, God created Stargate SG-1, and there was much rejoicing. And the people watched, and were glad1.
And then some of the people looked at Sam and Jack and said, "Lo, it is the coming of the One True Pairing!" And others of the people looked at Jack and Daniel and said, "No, you have been much deceived. This is the coming of the One True Pairing!"2
And lo, the S/Jers were wroth, and some declared Daniel a whiny, needy demon. And the J/Ders became enraged, and declared Sam a castrating bitch-spawn of Satan. Battles broke out across the Internet, and several mailing lists were knee-deep in blood.
"But wait!" several voices cried out. "If S + J = hot, and J + D = hot, then S + J + D must equal twice the hotness!" For lo, these people had scored above 400 on their math SATs. These people have abandoned their homes and their families3, and many have taken to the roads of LiveJournal with nothing but their words and a few icons to preach their one true
1Well, except for "Cold Lazarus", which even God admits was made on a very bad day.
2And a few of the people looked at Jack and Thor and said, "You've all got it dead wrong! They're the coming of the One True Pairing!" But they were roundly ignored, for Thor has no genitals.
3OK, a couple of them have switched their Yahoo! Groups to nomail.
( Ahem. To continue...Collapse )